This lesson brought to you by "a screw in the road" in conjunction with "the nice man from Triple A."
Yes, I ran over a screw a few nights ago. It was late at night, I was hoping to get to sleep in less than half an hour and then I ran over a screw. I was slightly distraught by the occurrence. In hindsight I would refer to it as "overly emotional" but my nerves have been kind of raw all week for one reason or another. So, without further ado, how to change a tire:
1. Find the spare tire.
This step is possibly the hardest if it is in your trunk and you have a lot of other stuff in there too. Still, persist or you will not be able to go further.
2. Hope that you have the little jack and wrench that may or may not be with your spare tire.
If these things are not present, I would suggest calling someone that has these things.
3. Try to find a place that is level and dry and limp over to it with your car.
If there is no dry spot put something like floor guards underneath the jack so that a) the jack doesn't slip and let the car crash onto your legs or hands, and b) so that the jack doesn't sink into mud allowing the car to slowly crush your legs. In other words, use common sense, the car is heavy, don't let it fall on you.
4. Put some sort of block behind the wheel that is opposite the flat tire. For example: if the front passenger wheel is flat, put a block behind the back driver wheel - if the back passenger wheel is flat, put a block in front of the front driver wheel.
This is so that the car doesn't roll away, and possibly off the jack onto your legs. Hopefully by now you have figured out a way to avoid leg crushing all together.
5. Take off the hubcap and loosen the nuts while the wheel is still on the ground.
If you put the car in the air first the wheel will wobble and make life hard on everyone.
6. Put the jack in place and begin lifting.
This step has different parts depending on the type of car and the type of jack. There is a space on cars, sort of between the door and undercarriage that is reinforced, and this is where you want to place the jack so that there is no damage to your vehicle. Once you find that spot, start working the jack.
7. The car is now in the air. Take a second to breathe, you have done the impossible and lifted a mighty beast. Remember that this is a bad time to goof off or become unfocused, that mighty beast is depending on you and could also crush you if you do something in the less than smart category.
8. Finish removing the nuts and take the tire off.
The order in which you remove the nuts does not matter, just don't loose them.
9. Put the spare tire in position.
Side note - this is not easy in the dark.
10. Place the nuts back on, but only by hand.
11. Once all nuts are loosely in place choose one and tighten it with the wrench, then go the the nut opposite that one and tighten it. Do not tighten the nuts in order or the wheel will go on at an angle. You want a star pattern when tightening, this should keep the pressure even enough to make the wheel go on straight.
12. Yay! Your spare is on! Does it have air in it? If not, hope you can make it to the nearest gas station or friend with an air compressor to fill it. (That should be the first place you drive if you are even a little low on air.)
13. Slowly lower the car. Make sure nothing is in the way, especially the odd limb or appendage.
14. Pack stuff up and drive to safety. If the flat cannot be repaired almost any tire place is probably ok, but if it can be fixed make sure the shop you go to can fix it.
15. Do not drive any longer than necessary on a spare tire. Those things can seriously mess up your alignment, and I'm not talking neutral good --> chaotic good. I mean, there will be screeching involved, it's scary.
That's it! That's all it takes! I owe my new knowledge to the wonderful AAA guy, who did all of those steps for me (which meant my life was very easy.) I'm glad I learned how to do this on my own, I think it's a skill everyone should have just in case they get stranded somewhere.