Gazpacho

     Generally I prefer hot soup, but occasionally I make an exception. This is one of those those times. Gazpacho is a vegetable filled spicy puree that has lovey acidity without making you wish you had heartburn medication handy. The first time I had it was at a reception for a friend's music recital and they served it in cups. I immediately asked for the recipe.
     I adore gazpacho, but if you have never had it before you may not understand it's being called a soup... so don't think of it as a soup. It is simply a nice healthy summer food, that you can either eat with a spoon, or even sip from a glass (I have even been considering a savory Popsicle in the current heat.)
     Before I list the ingredients for the mix I just made I will say this - there are a few essential ingredients but the rest of the list (and, in fact, the amounts) are all very flexible.

Equipment you will need:
     Mixing bowl
     Food processor/blender
     Tasting spoon (not to be used at an "eat it all while standing at the counter" spoon)

I mention the tasting spoon because you really do want to keep tasting while making this dish. Every time I make gazpacho it's a bit different, but that difference depends on how I feel at the time, and how cheap certain veggies are. (Side note: This is a great dish if you want something inexpensive.)

Core ingredients:
     Tomatoes chopped, 3-4 large
     Red Onion diced, 1
     Cucumber chopped, 1
     Lemon juice and/or Lime juice (both is better) around 2 Tbsp each
     Garlic diced 5-6 bulbs
     Salt & Pepper

Optional:
     Red bell pepper diced, 1
     Green bell pepper diced, 1
     Cilantro (leaves only)
     Hot sauce, maybe a Tbsp
     Garlic or onion powder

     Chop all vegetables and put them in the food processor or blender. Blend until desired consistency is reached. I prefer chunky, but some people like puree. Here's how I like mine:

      Now is when you'll want to add lime/lemon juice, salt, pepper, and anything other than the veggies. Taste as you add to make sure everything is working nicely with the vegetables from your area. You want spicy, but you want to leave to eat another bowl too. Do not underestimate the importance of the lemon and lime juice.
     If you feel fancy and avocados are miraculously cheap where you are, slice them to garnish your dish. If you want some protein, try sauteing some shrimp, or even just hang them on the edge of the glass cold like shrimp cocktails.
     The longer this sits, the better the flavors get. At least try to wait a few hours before eating after you mix it all.

Enjoy your cool summer treat!

Low Carb Chunkey Monkey

     I have not posted in awhile as I have not had the time or resources to experiment with foods I can no longer eat due to low carb dieting. Now I have returned with a low carb recipe and it's ice-cream!

Yeilds: 5 cups

There are two parts to this recipe, the first is a low carb magic shell:
(This is just a low carb/sugar free version of the magic shell found here.)

You will need:
  1/2 cup Coconut Oil (measured in a solid form)
  1 1/4 cup Unsweetened chocolate chunks/chips (I used blocks of baker's chocolate)
   Sweetener to taste

- Put all ingredients in a bowl.
- Alternate microwaving and stirring the mix until smooth.
- Store it in the fridge to top ice-cream, or for the next step in this recipe.


 The second part is the ice-cream:

You will need:
   2 cups Heavy cream (as low a carb count as you can find)
   1 cup Almond milk
   2 tsp Sugar free Banana syrup (or to taste)
   1 tsp Sugar free White chocolate syrup (or to taste)
   Possibly a little more sweetener to taste (I added 1/8 cup splenda)

Later you might want:
    Macadamia nuts or other nut.

- Mix all ingredients in a bowl, and put in an ice-cream maker. After about 15 minutes it will probably be done.
- Fold in any nuts you might want.
- Drizzle the magic shell over the ice-cream, then break it and fold the chunks in. Repeat until there is enough chocolate to suit you.
- Place in freezer until the ice-cream is cold enough for you.

Notes:
- It did take a second for the magic shell to work as I used it still slightly hot, so don't freak out if that happens.
- If you can't find sugar free flavoring in your area, check out this site.
- Do not put the ice-cream into the freezer in the bowl of the ice-cream maker. It will freeze solid and get stuck. Find another bowl.

I have to say I'm excited about this as I have wanted ice-cream since going on this diet... and this isn't even an indulgent recipe. :)

Apple cinnamon cupcakes with a mead frosting

     The very (long) title of this cupcake makes me think of fall, and apple cider. Such lovely things, as I hope this cupcake has been for those of you who ate it. For this reason, and because it came second in the last round of voting, I decided to bake it for this week.
     I am much happier with the cake part of this cupcake than I was with the apple spice cake part of the caramel love cupcakes. While both cakes were rather dense, this recipe turned out more gooey... in a good way. The blog I found the recipe on described them as tasting like apple pie filling when fresh out of the oven, and I can see why. The caramel love cupcakes had one half cup diced apples, while these cupcakes had one cup diced apples, one and a half cups applesauce and a fair amount of cinnamon (which I think brought out the apple flavor nicely.) The applesauce did more than just add apple flavor, it made the cupcakes wonderfully moist, and instead of getting comments like "Oh, this is a really heavy cake" I heard things like "yum." I much prefer the last. I am very happy I baked these two back to back, because now I know which cake recipe to follow if I want an apple taste.
     As for the frosting on these cupcakes, all I can say is that it was interesting. I, and most I talked to about it, loved the caramel butter-cream on the caramel love cupcakes... notice how I didn't say on both cupcakes? I am unsure what others thought of this mead "frosting" but I was unimpressed. True, the flavor is unlike anything I have tasted before, but it was super sweet (and I am not a fan of sweet). I even feel weird calling it frosting since it's much more akin to a glaze. It was mostly sugar, mead, and soy milk, all stirred furiously together until it sort of looked like a goo. If the goo was left sitting for more than a few seconds, moving the spoon produced a crackle effect on the surface of the sticky substance. I suppose this isn't a bad thing, it's simply not what I expect out of a frosting. That being said, I think it complemented the cake nicely, especially once the honey swirl was added.

Here is a picture of the crackling in the glaze:

     Over all I think this cupcake turned out well, and people seemed happy with it, but I was bothered by how it looked. I could think of no real way to give it better presentation. The icing always oozed out to the sides of the cupcake eventually, and the honey swirl is just that, a swirl. While certainly not hideous, I wanted to play with icing and so was sad. I'll get over it though. Point being, loved the cake, was alright with the frosting, and disliked the over all look. I would love to know what those of you who ate them thought of the frosting and look though, so please feel free to argue with me in the comments.
     And now, on to the recipe. I got this from the cupcake project website, click on the link to see this woman's amazing cupcake blog and find all sorts of recipes. This recipe makes somewhere around 20 cupcakes depending on how full you fill the cups. I accidentally doubled the recipe because of a misreading of her blog and ended up with over 40. I still have 13 in my fridge. Unless you have a lot of people who want cupcakes, don't double the recipe. Also, I found I did not use all of the frosting (I had about a cup or so left) so if you don't want leftovers the numbers may need to be tweaked a bit.

For the cake part of the cupcake you will need:

     2 sticks of butter
     1 C + 2 T of sugar
     2 C of Flour
     4 Eggs
     1 and 1/2 C of Applesauce (unsweetened)
     1 and 1/2 t of cinnamon
     1 C of finely chopped apples (I used Granny Smith)

For the glaze you will need:
  
     1/4 C of butter
     3 T of soy milk (most likely any kind of milk will do)
     2 T of Mead (I used Strawberry mead)
     2+ cups of confectioners' sugar (waaaay more in my case)

     To make the cupcake, simply cream the butter, sugar, eggs, and flour together and then stir in the remaining ingredients. The mix will look very dry until you get the applesauce in the mix. Bake at 350 F for 25 minutes.

Hopefully they will turn out something like this:

If they turn out entirely different please check your recipe and call back later.


     To make the glaze mix all of the ingredients together with a hand mixer. I used a wisk attachment after I realized it was only going to be liquid if I kept using the beaters.

     After putting the glaze on the cupcake don't forget the honey swirl!

So there you have it. An easy, yummy apple cinnamon cupcake with mead frosting and a honey swirl. Here is the original inspiration picture:

And here is how mine ended up looking:

As a side note, Will has started his own food blog - Radical Reductions. Click on the title to go to his blog and see it for yourself. From what he has told me he will be focusing on savory foods, as a foil to my sweet. As he is a better writer and cook, this should be interesting.

Caramel love cupcakes

I have been terribly negligent, using my parents arrival as an excuse to not bake. I apologize and hope to get back on schedule shortly. First though, I will take a cooking break to a) work on papers and b) give people time to vote on the next baked good. Hopefully I will post the choices on here in the next few days.

     For now, here is the winner of the last vote, the Caramel love cupcake!

Here is the inspiration:

here is what I ended up with:

 

 Ta da!

     There you have it. I actually made a traditional french butter-cream for the frosting... and then added caramel of course. From the feedback I have decided that the cake is probably not the best, and is rather dense but the frosting is a winner. Also, people loved my mock-stroopwaffle. Since I could not find such a thing in the stores, nor did I have money to buy all the ingredients needed to make the real thing I bought apple-cinnamon waffles, cut them in half, put cinnamon and caramel in the middle, and because I had no small cookie cutters, cut them into pie wedges. I like the look, and so far I have heard no complaints against the taste, so I call it a win. 

     So that people have time to vote on another kind of baked good I think I will make the mead frosting cupcakes so that I can play with a different kind of apple cake batter and see if some other recipe might be more satisfying.

For now, I hope all of you who tried the cupcakes enjoyed them, and I will attempt to be more consistent with the blog in the future. Here's hoping.

Choose your poison

     I have finally found a home for the two rainbow cakes from my previous post. I have been informed that the first cake did not have sweet enough frosting, so for the second I attempted to remedy that by adding more powdered sugar to the butter cream frosting. I have been told by a few that it worked, but if you are reading this and disagree I would love to know. I am on a diet that inhibits sugar intake so I'm honestly not the best judge of what is sweet enough right now. Which brings me to my next baking project... but first - I wanted to show you want I did with the left over tops of the cakes (that I got rid of with the awesome cake leveler.)

 

     Ta da! I decided to take some disposable shot glasses, crumble the cake and layer it with the frosting. I think it turned out quite charming for some extra bits of cake that I thought about tossing out. I am now ashamed that I almost threw all that yumminess away. It would have been quite a waste.
 
     As I was saying earlier though, my taste for sweets is off a bit of late and I would like to remedy that. This coming week I want to focus as much as possible on flavor. While I still care about ascetics, I feel that I should learn more about how to make things taste the way I want them to, and the way other people like them to.
     I will bake one of four styles of cupcake this coming week. The choices are all listed below, complete with picture and description of each. I would love for as many people to vote as possible. You can leave a comment on this blog, or post your vote on Facebook, or Twitter. You can even email me your vote if you feel so moved! Point being, VOTE. That way I know what people want to eat and I can bake accordingly. And remember, those who vote, get at least one cupcake!
     Now that I have firmly established this "I want people to vote thing" let me set out the guide lines for voting. The important thing to know is that you can vote for more than one cupcake. If you do vote for more than one, please rank your picks. You can tell me why you voted, or you can simply write the title of the cupcake. Eventually I will figure out how to make a poll on here and things will get a lot easier for you guys.

     IMPORTANT: Let me know if you are allergic to any of the current cupcake picks. I do not want to be responsible for a trip to the hospital and the use of an Epi-pen. I will do my part and list the ingredients (other than the obvious flour/milk/cream/sugar/butter), do your part and keep me from injuring friends.

      Now that that's out of the way, let's get to the cupcakes.

1. The "Love Carmel Cupcake"

This cupcake was designed by a loving blogger in memory of her mother. If you would like to see her blog she is over at http://www.thelonebaker.com/. This cupcake is full of carmeley goodness with some apple-spice thrown in for good measure. The waffles on top are dutch stroopwaffles (hard waffles with caramel in the middle) and baking this cupcake would mean an excess of those, so be prepared to suffer. ;)

Ingredients: Apples, Cinnamon, Caramel, Vanilla, pie spice

2. The "Apple Cinnamon Cupcake (with Mead Frosting and a Honey Swirl)"

This cupcake was inspired by the Rosh Hashana tradition of dipping apples in honey. The recipe I would use is from the blogger at http://www.cupcakeproject.com which is where all of the cupcake recipes below would come from. If I cannot find someone with an open bottle of mead who is willing to donate to tablespoons I may have to change the frosting to a cinnamon one. So keep that in mind while voting.

Ingredients: Applesauce, apples, cinnamon, mead, honey

3. The "Better than sex cupcake"

No really, that's it's actual name. There are five different types of chocolate in this thing. If you want chocolate, vote for this. This is no ordinary cupcake.

Ingredients: Vanilla, chocolate, cocoa powder, salt, coffee, brandy(maybe), white chocolate

4. The "Yogurt and Honey Cupcake"

This is the cupcake to choose is you are tired of the heavy sweet flavors. It gets lightness from the yogurt in the batter and the fact that the frosting is yogurt (with a honey drizzle). Don't get me wrong, these are still sweet, just in a different way. If you want something interesting and different, this is the cupcake for you.

Ingredients: Geek yogurt, vanilla, honey, salt


So there you have it. The four choices for this week.  Choose wisely as you all have to eat them.

The cake is not a lie!

     My hands may look like I cleaned up after a sick unicorn, but I have completed the famed rainbow cake. This cake would have taken very little effort if not for the amount of dyes that I had to mix. My icing apparently did not come out as sweet as I would have liked, but I will still count this a success rather than failure since my whole point was to focus on coloring and icing instead of flavors.
     The only "specialized" equipment I used was a cake leveler and an icing spatula. If you do not know of the magic of cake levelers and you bake often, you should check them out. I had no idea how I would stack three rounded cake layers without them tipping over, and then there was the cake leveler. It's basically a garrote wire between two sticks. You place the sticks on the counter, make sure the wire is at the correct height, and drag the wire across the cake. It was quite easy and wonderfully helpful. The icing spatula was also a help, but was not new to me, so not as interesting to play with.
 

  

      Coloring the batter took a lot of dye. The red batter took 115 drops of red dye - over half the bottle. The green icing took almost 100 green drops. If anyone is interested in the exact ratios I can give them to you, but I didn't want to go into the boring details here. I used a plain white cake mix with applesauce instead of oil for the batter.

The cake layers themselves only took about 18 minutes to bake at 350 F since I used small four inch spring form pans (so that I would have several small cakes to ice instead of one large one.) I think the colors turned out wonderfully. I made my own butter cream frosting for the icing. It made the cake quite tall and the slices looked a bit odd, but there was no danger of it toppling thanks to the cake leveler!

 

     Here is the finished product! I reversed the color progression from the picture I found (I thought red made more sense on the bottom so that blue was next to violet.) I found that my original sprinkle method (throw them and hope they stick) did not work quite as well as applying them with a spoon. I simply filled the bowl of the spoon with sprinkles, and pulled it up the sides of the iced cake. There were very few empty spots left after using that method. In order to ice the cake I put it on a cake round with the turntable from my microwave underneath (it's cheap and it works!) That turned out to be unnecessary since the cake was so small, but it was still fun to get to spin the cake around instead of trying to maneuver my arm in such a way to keep the icing smooth.

     I took the finished product to gaming tonight, and here is a picture to give the scale of the cake. If you have ever played D&D, or any other table top game involving mini-figs you will have a better idea of just how tall the cake is. Also, I have put the original picture that inspired me next to it for a comparison. If you happen to want some there is another un-eaten cake currently.Hope you enjoyed this week's cake! 

 

The great cake challenge

     Hello again wonderful, brave readers. I have been lax about updating my blog of late, much has happened but I am writing now to tell you about a challenge I have set my self and think I might need a bit help with. Don't worry, your part involves eating cake. Yes, that's right, I am looking for people to eat cake and cupcakes and other sweet things, and maybe bread. Well, definitely bread because at some point I want to make bread that looks like a panda.
     The point being, I am going to attempt to make/bake/or otherwise throw together some sugary delight about once a week. Most of the things I make will be inspired by a recipe or picture that I find online which I will post here along with a picture of what I end up making. I have already chosen my first delight - a rainbow cake. See below.

     I chose this particular rainbow cake because not only do I have to dye the cake batter, but I get to dye frosting and use sprinkles as well! I have no idea what recipe was used for the cake in this picture, I am going to use a modified white cake mix with butter-cream frosting though. Hopefully I will not resort to mixes often, but this time I'm really focusing on learning how to stack a layer cake and dye frosting properly, and I may add powdered sugar clouds on top!

     Though I have chosen this week's sweet, I need help choosing for next week. So that I don't resort to dice rolling I am going to post three to five pictures every week (there will be some underlying theme every time of what I want to work on that week, but I will most likely have widely diverse treats) and I would love for people to vote on what they want me to make. As your motivation to cast a vote - I will attempt to make at least enough to feed those who do vote, regardless of whether yours is the top choice that week.
     Hopefully I will have pictures up of my attempt at a rainbow cake sometime tomorrow night or Tuesday. Do let me know if you would like a bit!

How to change a tire, and other life lessons

This lesson brought to you by "a screw in the road" in conjunction with "the nice man from Triple A."

Yes, I ran over a screw a few nights ago. It was late at night, I was hoping to get to sleep in less than half an hour and then I ran over a screw. I was slightly distraught by the occurrence. In hindsight I would refer to it as "overly emotional" but my nerves have been kind of raw all week for one reason or another. So, without further ado, how to change a tire:

1. Find the spare tire.
This step is possibly the hardest if it is in your trunk and you have a lot of other stuff in there too. Still, persist or you will not be able to go further.

2. Hope that you have the little jack and wrench that may or may not be with your spare tire.
If these things are not present, I would suggest calling someone that has these things.

3. Try to find a place that is level and dry and limp over to it with your car.
If there is no dry spot put something like floor guards underneath the jack so that a) the jack doesn't slip and let the car crash onto your legs or hands, and b) so that the jack doesn't sink into mud allowing the car to slowly crush your legs. In other words, use common sense, the car is heavy, don't let it fall on you.

4. Put some sort of block behind the wheel that is opposite the flat tire. For example: if the front passenger wheel is flat, put a block behind the back driver wheel - if the back passenger wheel is flat, put a block in front of the front driver wheel.
This is so that the car doesn't roll away, and possibly off the jack onto your legs. Hopefully by now you have figured out a way to avoid leg crushing all together.

5. Take off the hubcap and loosen the nuts while the wheel is still on the ground.
If you put the car in the air first the wheel will wobble and make life hard on everyone.

6. Put the jack in place and begin lifting.
This step has different parts depending on the type of car and the type of jack. There is a space on cars, sort of between the door and undercarriage that is reinforced, and this is where you want to place the jack so that there is no damage to your vehicle. Once you find that spot, start working the jack.

7. The car is now in the air. Take a second to breathe, you have done the impossible and lifted a mighty beast. Remember that this is a bad time to goof off or become unfocused, that mighty beast is depending on you and could also crush you if you do something in the less than smart category.

8. Finish removing the nuts and take the tire off.
The order in which you remove the nuts does not matter, just don't loose them.

9. Put the spare tire in position.
Side note - this is not easy in the dark.

10. Place the nuts back on, but only by hand.

11. Once all nuts are loosely in place choose one and tighten it with the wrench, then go the the nut opposite that one and tighten it. Do not tighten the nuts in order or the wheel will go on at an angle. You want a star pattern when tightening, this should keep the pressure even enough to make the wheel go on straight.

12. Yay! Your spare is on! Does it have air in it? If not, hope you can make it to the nearest gas station or friend with an air compressor to fill it. (That should be the first place you drive if you are even a little low on air.)

13. Slowly lower the car. Make sure nothing is in the way, especially the odd limb or appendage.

14. Pack stuff up and drive to safety. If the flat cannot be repaired almost any tire place is probably ok, but if it can be fixed make sure the shop you go to can fix it.

15. Do not drive any longer than necessary on a spare tire. Those things can seriously mess up your alignment, and I'm not talking neutral good --> chaotic good. I mean, there will be screeching involved, it's scary.

That's it! That's all it takes! I owe my new knowledge to the wonderful AAA guy, who did all of those steps for me (which meant my life was very easy.) I'm glad I learned how to do this on my own, I think it's a skill everyone should have just in case they get stranded somewhere.

Staring at armor

Tonight I decided to go to an SCA fighter practice. I'd been once before, only to observe. I realized then that the loud noises would probably be amplified in the helmets and that I would undoubtedly get a headache every other time I tried to go. Still, the desire to return kept nagging me. Finally I gave in a couple of hours ago.

On the ride there I became consumed with the fear that they would throw me into some smelly loner armor that made it impossible to breathe, move, or see... but they didn't. I walked into the gym of the military building that our barony uses during the winter months (yes I said winter, it's 44 here.) The lights, the smells, the sounds, all washed over me, bringing up memories of elementary school basketball games. In some spaces the scent changed and I was brutally reminded of army recruits.

I braced myself for a worse smell that I knew would come if they tossed loner armor at me. The three men ambling about the gym all waved politely. One asked if I was going to fight, I said yes, he said something along the lines of "great" while nodding his head in a style somewhat reminiscent of my uncle. The men went back to adjusting straps, hitting themselves to see if pieces moved, and adding bits here and there (sometimes with ducktape.) Two of them began to circle one another, the third, the fighter's marshal asked if I would like to do some slow work.

"Sure... I'm not entirely certain what that is, but I'll try."
"Well, do you wanna learn heavy fighting?"
"Yes?"
"That's a good start, we'll try slow work." Then he picked up a stick that looked small in his hands, and handed it to me. The rattan had weight to it, but was not as heavy as a normal wood, though I knew its weight would secretly wear at me until I couldn't lift it if we went too long. Then he handed me a shield. All told I probably held it up for five to ten minutes... He called it a light shield. My left arm begs to differ. It's not so much that my arms hurt or feel particularly tired, I just have absolutely no motivation to lift them for any less than necessary tasks.

He taught me some basic moves. It was slow going. I had never been allowed to put power behind my blows, and now I was being encouraged to do so. I found that I was more afraid to hit this ridiculously imposing figure before me, than I was of him hitting me. I knew he wouldn't break, I knew he was in armor, but I saw no need to hit him just so I could learn. He started holding up a sword wherever I was aiming. That helped, but then, when I needed to string blows together I waited for his sword to move. Add to this that I had to think about every swing. Did I move my hips correctly, did my feet pivot too much or too little? I over think things. It helped when I remembered how I had to move in Karate. My shots came in better once I let my body remember what it already knew. Hit from the ground up.

It was a great night. I was actually tired and able to sleep. It was wonderful. I think I'll try again.

Random

It would be so incredibly easy for me to be one of those maniacal super villains. I have all of the back-story needed to turn evil. And I mean one of those justified-everyone-would-understand-why-I-did-it villains. The sad thing is, I want to be that. Villains are more interesting. Heroes are whiny, they rely on their friends, and once all is said and done they get all the credit for none of the work and I hate them. Except when they're The Doctor. The Doctor is the only hero I've ever wanted to win. So yeah, I either want to be a villain, or The Doctor.
The End.

This is why I can't be a movie critic.

      Yesterday I watched Sucker Punch and liked it. Yes, that's right, I enjoyed watching scantily clad girls pwn everything from steam-punk Nazi zombies (yeah, you heard me), to dragons in the middle of an orc occupied palace, to samurai totting bazookas. Not to mention that the girls usually had some bizarre weapon of their own. If you want an example take a look at this. That's a gun wielding bunny suit. Yes, I know. I want one too.
     At this point you may be saying 'that's all well and good, but what about the plot?' Well, let me tell you friend, this movie had a plot. It may not have been good, I may not even be able to tell you coherently what that plot was, but it was there! Anyway, the whole movie was about the epic visuals and strange music that faded in and out in wonderful ways.
     At first blush the movie felt like a 'yay women!' kind of movie, because the girls were fighting valiantly for their freedom, but the feeling was swiftly punched away towards the end of the film. Still, I thoroughly enjoyed the film because a) it felt like watching someone play a really pretty rpg, b) the music was cool! and last but not least c) there were tons of explosions and there was this one shot of a dead baby dragon and the fire from the angry mother dragon enveloping everything and it gave me chills. WAIT I almost forgot! They were fighting said dragon with a B-52 bomber! Super awesome action flick, thy name is Sucker Punch.
    
     Now on to the indie film I watched a few moments ago. Troll Hunters. It's one of those fake documentaries affectionately termed "mockumentary." I hate shaky-cam, but it fit nicely here and the pay-off was well worth it. It was not of the annoying brand of films which never show us the creature it bills, fairly near the beginning there is an encounter in the woods where you actually see why everyone is running. (Take that Blair Witch Project... which I have not watched so I might be falsely accusing but I doubt it very seriously.... >_> )
     If you miss that feeling of magic in your life, go watch this film. It's like hearing your first fairy tale. The world seems fresh and alive again. It kind of kicks your sense of wonder (as in 'I wonder if that tree can talk') into high gear. In the first scene with a troll as every is running I started thinking that if I were there I would probably be laughing hysterically because it was so wonderful, but I'm odd. If you are curious but think I am probably a rambling lunatic check out the trailer... just in case I'm not crazy. As a warning, you have to read subtitles unless you speak Norwegian. Again, totally worth it.
     It is important to remember while watching this film that it's ok to laugh when the sheep die... you'll see what I mean.

     There you have it. Proof that I can never be a film critic. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to stick with philosophy.

Why yes, I am writing this because I have better things to do....

I am doomed. I have two papers to write in a time span that is impossibly small. Yes I planned poorly. Yes I will look tired and drawn in a matter of hours, no I don't care. I am concerned with other things. Why does life always seem to give me brilliant revelations when I have other things I have to get done (and in doing so makes me completely forget the revelation)?

When I was little younger I wanted to be an astronaut (until I discovered a healthy fear of dieing in a vacuum), a vet (until I realized I couldn't stand to watch animals die every day), a musician (until I went into a college department that hated what I loved), and finally a silversmith (still want it). Did anyone see philosophy on there? No. I do philosophy because I can't help it. It's what I think about all day, but it's not what I want to formally do out in front of everyone. I don't want to argue over things about which I am unsure. Don't even get me started on the people I would be arguing against. It all seems entirely fruitless. Today I may choose this stance, tomorrow it's wrong and I'm supposed to pretend I never said that... ummm... no. I refuse. I am now simply squandering my life away. Biding my time until... until... Oh yeah, there is no until. Great. This was the conclusion that hit me a few weeks ago.

Now I am changing my whole viewpoint. I want to create. It's what I've always wanted to do, what I'm obsessed with. I hate competition, and philosophy is competitive, so maybe this just isn't right for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to study it, probably still going to be involved in it, but I don't want that as my life. For now I will bide my time in order to decide what my next move should be. Should I get formal training in music, metal work or nothing at all? I know that what I do in the next few years is going to do a lot to me later in life, I just hope I will have the courage to make good choices. I think I'll pretend I'm someone else planning a life for me. This should at the very least be an interesting experiment. Here goes.

Scrolls

I have been absent minded of late - thus I have not done well at keeping up this blog. I found that silversmithing kept my sanity quite nicely. The class is now over and I have created several pieces that I am quite proud of. I am on a quest to find all of the equipment I need to smith at home, and that is far easier said than done. I am determined however so pretty much no power on earth is going to stop me, even if the power trying if my faulty memory when I go to the store.

On another note, a friend in the SCA asked me to illuminate a scroll for her. I think it turned out rather well and so I took a picture and am linking it here. My boyfriend did the calligraphy, my SCA friend wrote the text, and I designed and illuminated it. I have found scroll design very relaxing, but I am obviously not very good at it yet. I do want to improve and appreciate comments, but my main focus right now is metal work.

Yes, metal work is my main focus. I think it may finally be that one thing I can be all consumingly passionate about. I have no idea how to bend my life around it, at this point I only know that I want to. I love everything about working metal, even the arduous filing process that is involved in almost any piece. I love watching bits of wire or shiny sheets transformed into gorgeous wearable art (actually pretty art, not the modern 'I'm trying to make a statement' art.)

So that's my life currently. Perhaps soon I'll have time to put up a quick tutorial of an interested knitted wire technique I'm learning. So long for now.

Local finds and fun times

     Today has been a productive and fun day. I had an audition for a choral position at a church and it went rather well I think. I would be terribly excited to get the job simply because I miss being in a choir and they sing lots of early music. Yay Latin!
     After  my audition I walked two blocks down from the church to a small coffee shop. I think I shall start mentioning local finds here in Lincoln, and this cafe will be the first. It is called Mo Java Cafe. If you are in Lincoln and haven't been there, I suggest you go. Take 48th to St. Paul st. and turn east (away from Wesleyan University). There is even off the street parking right next to it. The atmosphere in the shop is lovely. The people are friendly and the coffee is divine. I got their German Chocolate drink - Mocha with coconut and hazelnut added. It tasted so much like a German chocolate cake I was afraid I would inhale coconut shavings. I sat in a really neat comfy chair by the window, stared at their books and games and was more relaxed than I have been in a long time. They also sell teas, deli foods and deserts, and work by local artists. Today I saw some nice jewelry, beautiful ceramic mugs and plants potted in Japanese tea pots. I think I will be returning to that place quite frequently.
     For my evening activity I will be going to a silversmithing class. This should fun... or painful if I do something stupid and burn myself. I'll let you know how it goes.

Snow

     I really do not have much to say at the moment. I never do when I actually have the time to blog. It has snowed a considerable amount here, classes have been canceled today and tomorrow, there are a few things I need to go out for but the snow is a lovely excuse to stay home and get things done. My biggest regret is that I don't have a sled with me... and that there are no real hills around, but other than that I am perfectly content to have a snow day. I wouldn't mind a snow week actually.
     Lately I have needed time to think and have found none. My current route of study has not been very satisfying. I feel none of the passion that others around me talk about. Instead I would much rather be at home, pouring over some ancient history book, or some mythology of a tiny country, or studying a language long dead. I cannot for the life of me figure out why I stayed away from studying such things in school, and why I am still not seeking those things out now. I know that philosophy is a terribly important thing, but only because it is the ducktape of studies. It holds the universe together. I have felt none of that cohesiveness lately though. I have decided that this semester I will throw myself into studying with reckless abandon, make connections and see if I can salvage things a bit. If I cannot, then I will try to find where it is I really should be right now and get there with all due haste.
     In the meantime I will endeavor to discuss happier topics here. Such as: On the dangers of being a wunderkind, or, How to be a writer, or perhaps, How not to be a boring writer, or better still, How to live life and get all of the answers... but seriously, I will try to keep this blog a bit happier. I make no promises though.

My dog smells like grape, and other things I never want to forget.

     Hello all. It has been awhile since I last posted here and while much has happened, very little is noteworthy. A few things that are: I won the baronial bardic championship (an SCA thing), I sort of learned how to make cups out of leather and they actually are leak proof,  I was chased home for Christmas by a snowstorm, I realized that starting a monopoly game with a Jewish accounting major late at night is not the wisest idea if one wants to sleep ever, I will never be sure why my dog smells like grape candy but I like it. I'm sure I've forgotten something but, oh well.
     Since it is a new year I'm sure I should have made some sort of new year's resolution - finish my book, finally get in shape, plan out my future, go to Albania... something like that, but no. I have decided not to have dozens of broken promises littering my mind in this new year. Instead I will begin this year by accomplishing small goals. I will do the things I always should anyway, I will become more disciplined without being ridiculous and getting burnt out. I think things will be better that way.
     So, one of my small steps is to get exercise equipment that I will actually want to use. In other words, I got games that make me more active. PS2 has some great games I'm looking into, Nintendo DS also has one in particular that I'm trying called "My Health Coach". I'll let you know if anything is particularly good or bad once I've had time to play around a bit.
     And now it is time for me to make my exit once again, because I should really sleep at some point this year.

The boys who didn't cry wolf... or much of anything at all really.

     I have a backlog of things I should post about, especially since this is me attempting to keep in touch with old friends, but I have been thinking about one thing in particular all day today.
     You know when people scream in stores or parking lots and no one pays attention? I think ignoring such cries is ridiculous. From a very young age our parents and other authority figures tell us that yelling is the way to get attention if kidnapped, threatened, hurt, or other wise endangered. It took me a long time to understand what has dulled us as a society to plaintive cries for help and the answer presented itself to me in the form of a childhood story - The Boy Who Cried Wolf.
     Most, if not all, know this story. A boy from a village cries "wolf" and people come running to protect him. He is told not to cry for help unless help is really needed. He cries "wolf" again. There is once again no wolf. This goes on long enough that when there really is a wolf no one answers his cry. The boy dies. The moral of this story is supposed to be "don't lie", (well, that's not the Aesop version of the moral, but you get the idea) but I think the moral of this story should be "don't yell like something is wrong when everything is perfectly fine".
     I do not care how much fun it might be to run through a department store yelling for help like someone is chasing you with horrid intentions. Such actions make people less likely to pay attention when something truly sinister is occurring. Think about how little time people have to scream when being abducted. They might have time for one full scream of the word "help"... maybe. They might not have time to say the entire word. Would you notice? I think that on most days I would just continue on with life, probably a little ticked off that someone was yelling. Last week was different. I went to work and began my daily, never ending task when suddenly I was tuned in to every scream in the store.
     I still am uncertain why my senses were so heightened. Every time some little kid or frat boy yelled I was scared for them and almost ran in their direction. Every time the yell was only in play, and every time I tried to listen a little less.
     Towards the end of my shift I was standing behind the counter helping a customer when two little boys ran up and one said "Can you help us find-" and ran off. I figured their parents had sent them to look for something and he had seen it while he was asking. It would not have been the first time. Little kids are way better at finding things in retail stores. I kept working but something was nagging at me. A few minutes later the boys came back. I noticed that the youngest one looked scared. The older one was probably only five or six but he marched up to the counter again and said "We're lost. Can you help us find who we're with?"
    I think my mouth actually fell open. I thought 'Why haven't their parents told someone they were missing? Why did they pick me? Why did they run away the first time? What the heck am I supposed to do now?' and a lot of other things all at once. I told the boy that of course I would help him and at this point a woman marched up and asked me to do a price check for her... I mean, seriously? This one kid is crying, there is obviously no adult, I'm trying to help them and you stop me to ask how much something with a price label costs... ugh. I told her where she could find a scanner and went back to more important matters.
     It turned out that the boys had not come with their parents but a baby sitter - whose name they did not remember. I radioed for help and took the boys up to front of the store. No response on the radio. No one to help when I got to the front of the store. This is about the time the youngest one starting saying that he just wanted to "get out". He ran for the door. I followed. Because I was carrying a store radio the alarms went off. Of course people tried to stop me even though they clearly saw the little kids running without parents. Grr. I tried to explain and told them I was going right back into the store and as soon as this was all sorted they could do whatever they liked with me. They still tried to stop me. I finally got the kid to come back. His older brother was actually very helpful in talking him back into the store. We went back to the front of the store and I finally got some help, and the youngest child ran again. Again I had to deal with the alarms. The people trying to stop me were more forceful and the kid actually got into the parking lot this time. I was upset, but somehow the kid decided to come back before he was run over.
     As I brought him back to where his brother was waiting with my help their babysitter was rounding the corner as well. It was all over in probably fifteen or twenty minutes but I was relieved to be done with it. I kept wondering if I would have paid any attention to those kids on a different day when I was dulled to the world a little. I kept thinking of all of the horrible things that could have happened. Could still happen to other little kids. It drove me a little nuts.
     Anyway, all this to say - next time someone yells, pay attention. If they are in trouble, help. If they are in no danger, tell them the story of the boy who cried wolf.

Research in Music

I have decided to post here my documentation for an upcoming competition to see what my music friends think of it and whether or not it is stupid. Please do not copy, steal, cut, paste, sniff, or otherwise plagiarize it.

Written by John Dowland, In Darkness Let Me Dwell was originally published in a book entitled Musicall Banquet. Dowland contributed three songs to this book (including the one I have endeavored to study), which was a compilation put together by his son Robert. The book was originally published in 1610, though the song I chose was written several years before.

I. About the composer:

            John Dowland was likely born in the year 1563 as indicated by his introduction in A Pilgrim’s Solace and Varietie of Lute-Lessons. Though his birth place is debated he spent the majority of his life either in England or continental Europe. A talented singer, lutenist, and performer he was a prolific composer and held several court appointments. He received a Bachelors of Music from two colleges, Christ Church, Oxford in 1588 and the other most likely from Cambridge (though some argue his second degree came from Trinity College in Dublin). He does not speak of his parentage or childhood in depth, but in reference to his musical development he writes “from my childhood I haue euer aymed at [it], sundry times leauing my native country, the better to attain so excellent a science”[1]

            In 1580, Dowland went to Paris as a servant for Sir Henry Cobham, possibly to further his musical studies, and while there was converted from a Protestant to Catholic faith. He later came to believe that this conversion was a hindrance to his career because of his inability to receive an English court appointment until very late in life. While he believed this lack of appointment was caused by his religious affiliation, the idea may not be well founded. This is evidenced by the public declaration issued in 1571 by Queen Elizabeth letting her citizens know that as long as they did not break the law she had no intention of bothering them about their religion. Whatever the reason for his rejection, Dowland continued to seek out appointments in other courts until he was finally accepted to the court in England. His major works The First, Second, and Third Booke of Songes or Ayres were published in 1597, 1600, and 1603 respectively, followed by A Pilgrim’s Solace in 1612.

II. About the piece and its performance:

I am using an edited, modern score with the lute tablature transcribed for keyboard instruments. Generally, the vocal line of this piece would be accompanied by the lute, but as I neither play the lute nor know anyone who does, I am accompanying myself on a small lever harp. This change in instruments will lead to a different sound in the accompaniment because of the difference in resonant qualities as well as tones created by different string fibers. Typically lute strings were made of animal intestine while my harp is currently strung with nylon. The sound of the nylon strings is brighter than gut would have been, but as gut is harder to keep in tune because of sensitivities to temperature and humidity (not to mention the expense and time) I have not changed my strings for this performance. However, I have changed, by moving up an octave, or simply left out several notes because of my harp’s lack in the lower register.

When deciding how to sing the piece I found that general practice of the time was to use a straight tone with little vibrato. The purpose of singing was to convey the meaning of the piece in every aspect of the song it. The words must be clear and the dynamics and tone must convey the correct emotion and not interfere with it. In a book which Dowland translated there are “ten precepts necessary for every singer”[2] of these number three states: “Let every singer conform his voice to the words, that as much as he can he make the Concent sad when the words are sad: and merry when they are merry.”[3] Using this as a guideline I have attempted to fit my voice to the mood of grief found within the poetry of the song.

 ____

(End notes (because I couldn't transfer the page breaks) are below the Bibliography)
 ____

BIBLIOGRAPHY:

Dowland, John. Andreas Ornithoparcus His Micrologus, or Introduction: Containing the Art of Singing. (London, 1609). Quoted in MacClintock. Readings in the History of Music in Performance. Indiana University Press, 1994.

Dowland, John. In Darkness Let Me Dwell. Edited by Edmund H. Fellows. Revised by David Scott. London: Stainer and Bell Ltd., 1997.

Dowland, John. The First Booke of Songes or Ayres. 1597. Quoted in Poulton, Diana. John Dowland. Berkeley, CA: University of California Press, 1982.

Elliott, Martha. Singing in Style: A Guide to Vocal Performance Practices. Yale University Press, 2008.

Erber, James. “Preface.” In John Dowland Fifty Songs for High Voice Book 2, 2. London: Stainer and Bell Ltd., 1997.

Kimball, Carol. Song: a guide to art song style and literature. Hal Leonard Company, 2006

Nadal, David. Lute Songs of John Dowland: The Original First and Second Books Including Dowland’s Original Lute Tablature. Dover Publications, 1997.

Poulton, Diana. John Dowland. Berkeley, CA: University of California Press, 1982.

---

[1] John Dowland, The First Booke of Songes or Ayres, 1597 Quoted in Diana Poulton, John Dowland (Berkeley, CA: University of California Press, 1982), 26.

[2] John Dowland, Andreas Ornithoparcus His Micrologus, or Introduction: Containing the Art of Singing (London, 1609), quoted in MacClintock, Readings in the History of Music in Performace, (Indiana University Press), 160.

[3] Ibid.

Let's do the time warp again

     Tonight my boyfriend took me to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show, at midnight, in a tiny sweltering theater. Luckily the audience wasn't wearing much so heat didn't bother them. I had always wanted to go to one of these showings but I always found an excuse not to. When we arrived the line was down the block. The man at the door yelled down the ticket line "remember, this movie is rated R but the audience is rated X so if you're easily offended don't go in." How could I turn away?
     It was the first time either of us had seen the movie in theaters but we lied through our teeth at the door (on my uncle's sound advice) and waved a few props as proof of our veteran status (though I hadn't the foggiest what to do with them yet.) We escaped the lipstick V's on our foreheads which marked the "virgins", and received the lovely lip-print stamp shown below. I felt like a spy. I still feel as though I missed out on part of the experience because we lied though, nothing bad happened to the virgins anyway.
     We sat down in the back row, the old seats creaked and mine actually almost slid off of the frame (I had to keep readjusting it). The velvet covering was worn out but clean, and I felt like I had stepped into an old timey western theatre, especially since there were girls in garters, wrapped in boas, and wearing feathers in their hair. As the ushers (really just people who loved the movie so much that they were helping the virgins to know what to do) were explaining in a dirty manner that watching the movie at home did not count, one guy asked if seeing the songs on Glee did... and things were promptly thrown at him.
     The movie began wonderfully, there was a fight between the front and back row, people got in front of the screen to be killed by random objects, angels did dirty things and we played 'red light, green light' in a cemetery. Also, I had rice thrown down my shirt.

     On a side note - if you haven't guessed by now this show is heavy on the audience participation.My favorite was this: At some point one character waves a candelabra at another and the audience yells "You WILL celebrate Hanuka!" If you want to learn more about that part of it google audience response and props. It's a good idea to do it before you go, we would have gotten wet, possibly soaked if not for that. Also, there is a slight chance that you will get soaked anyway. Don't say I didn't warn you. (Now you're curious enough to go aren't you? Well, except for you. Yes, you. I see you frowning at the screen.)

     Anyway, We danced the time warp, but I got embarrassed and probably looked more idiotic because no one else in the back was dancing - all of the loud and fun people had gone up in front of the screen and taken off most of their clothing in order to dance more freely. They came back though... and after what I've been through tonight I really want to make a joke there....

     Somehow I knew that we would see someone we knew and within seconds of entering the theater (I'm not exaggerating) we saw someone we considered to be very prim and proper from one of our social circles. Later in the show she went in front of the screen and made our night awkward and amazing all at once. Sadly, we didn't say hi.

     I do not think that going to a movie has ever been so fun. There were so many nerdy and dirty references that most people would never understand or care to. I understand the sentiment I suppose... wait, no I don't. Going to this show was like entering a special club that everyone secretly wants to be in but most would not dare to enter for fear of someone else's opinion. To my someone else's I say - sorry, but I will remember this night forever, will you even remember what you were doing by next week?

     So to sum up - find that small theater in your town (or if you're near me come next Saturday or Sunday at midnight), get some props, learn a couple audience responses and then go and yell at a screen with a bunch of half naked people for a couple of hours. You'd be surprised how fun it is. Also, don't forget your newspapers.

Rocky Horror lip prints

Mmmwah!

A general update on life

     So reader(s), my life has been insane lately. I have started work in retail (joy) and find it... average I guess. It is certainly nice to have an income but there are certain kinks in my scheduling abilities now. When I have to work over time usually used for friends I feel guilty, when I need time off for school I feel guilty, I have no idea how to strike a balance between the two. Then again, this is only my second week of work so I probably need some time to adjust. Moving on to more interesting things...

Wasabi Sushi Roll

       I was able to go to Omaha with a few friends this past Sunday and while I did not accomplish my goal of finding winter clothes I did find an amazing all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant. If you are ever in Omaha look up Wasabi, it is amazing. I was not expecting the great service and ambiance that my friends and I received. The food is made to order off of their rather large menu (which has not only sushi but the usual appetizers and fried meal items one might expect from a Japanese restaurant) and the waitress just kept bringing food until we asked for the check. The only disappointment was that they were out of the green tea ice-cream I was hoping to try. Also on my trip I picked up a great notebook with a beautiful picture of cherry-blossoms on the cover... even if the colors are a little odd. I may post a picture of it later.

     The reason I am currently awake is the coffee I had tonight. I ate at a Greek restaurant here in Lincoln and noticed that their coffee menu included "Greek Coffee". I obviously had to see what this meant and when I ordered desert (a Mediterranean cannoli) I ordered Greek coffee to go with it. The waiter brought a delicate espresso cup to the table and warned me that it was a Turkish style brew and there would be grounds in the bottom which I should not drink. I was concerned about this, how would I avoid drinking them? After the first sip I was no linger concerned. I closed my eyes and experience coffee bliss. This stuff was better than anything I have ever had before. It was sweet and spicy at the same time and was perfectly smooth. When I reached the bottom of the cup I understood why the coffee grounds had not been disturbed by my drinking. The bottom of the cup was covered in a half inch thick sludge. While I had always been hesitant to try this kind of coffee because of said sludge I now understand why Turkish women are allowed to divorce their husbands if not given their daily allowance of coffee and chocolate. I am still wired from that tiny amount of liquid.
     I have no picture for this paragraph and it is not about food, sorry if you are disappointed. Tonight I shot a crossbow for the first time ever. It was rather fun. A friend at the archery range brought his and offered to let people try it out. I still prefer my re-curve but if I ever needed to have better aim for some reason (zombie apocalypse with no guns?) I might switch to a crossbow. I may not have mentioned, but on Wednesday I generally practice archery with people from the SCA. I am new to the society but it intrigues me. I hope to continue "playing" in it for a long while to come. A friend from the SCA has put the idea in my head to write a short piece on what it's like to be a newcomer for the barony's monthly newsletter. Hopefully I will get around to that soon. I will post it here as soon as I am finished to see if anyone has any feedback.
     For now I will attempt sleep and try not to jump on the bed on like the little kid in me wants to.