5/8/11

How to change a tire, and other life lessons

This lesson brought to you by "a screw in the road" in conjunction with "the nice man from Triple A."

Yes, I ran over a screw a few nights ago. It was late at night, I was hoping to get to sleep in less than half an hour and then I ran over a screw. I was slightly distraught by the occurrence. In hindsight I would refer to it as "overly emotional" but my nerves have been kind of raw all week for one reason or another. So, without further ado, how to change a tire:

1. Find the spare tire.
This step is possibly the hardest if it is in your trunk and you have a lot of other stuff in there too. Still, persist or you will not be able to go further.

2. Hope that you have the little jack and wrench that may or may not be with your spare tire.
If these things are not present, I would suggest calling someone that has these things.

3. Try to find a place that is level and dry and limp over to it with your car.
If there is no dry spot put something like floor guards underneath the jack so that a) the jack doesn't slip and let the car crash onto your legs or hands, and b) so that the jack doesn't sink into mud allowing the car to slowly crush your legs. In other words, use common sense, the car is heavy, don't let it fall on you.

4. Put some sort of block behind the wheel that is opposite the flat tire. For example: if the front passenger wheel is flat, put a block behind the back driver wheel - if the back passenger wheel is flat, put a block in front of the front driver wheel.
This is so that the car doesn't roll away, and possibly off the jack onto your legs. Hopefully by now you have figured out a way to avoid leg crushing all together.

5. Take off the hubcap and loosen the nuts while the wheel is still on the ground.
If you put the car in the air first the wheel will wobble and make life hard on everyone.

6. Put the jack in place and begin lifting.
This step has different parts depending on the type of car and the type of jack. There is a space on cars, sort of between the door and undercarriage that is reinforced, and this is where you want to place the jack so that there is no damage to your vehicle. Once you find that spot, start working the jack.

7. The car is now in the air. Take a second to breathe, you have done the impossible and lifted a mighty beast. Remember that this is a bad time to goof off or become unfocused, that mighty beast is depending on you and could also crush you if you do something in the less than smart category.

8. Finish removing the nuts and take the tire off.
The order in which you remove the nuts does not matter, just don't loose them.

9. Put the spare tire in position.
Side note - this is not easy in the dark.

10. Place the nuts back on, but only by hand.

11. Once all nuts are loosely in place choose one and tighten it with the wrench, then go the the nut opposite that one and tighten it. Do not tighten the nuts in order or the wheel will go on at an angle. You want a star pattern when tightening, this should keep the pressure even enough to make the wheel go on straight.

12. Yay! Your spare is on! Does it have air in it? If not, hope you can make it to the nearest gas station or friend with an air compressor to fill it. (That should be the first place you drive if you are even a little low on air.)

13. Slowly lower the car. Make sure nothing is in the way, especially the odd limb or appendage.

14. Pack stuff up and drive to safety. If the flat cannot be repaired almost any tire place is probably ok, but if it can be fixed make sure the shop you go to can fix it.

15. Do not drive any longer than necessary on a spare tire. Those things can seriously mess up your alignment, and I'm not talking neutral good --> chaotic good. I mean, there will be screeching involved, it's scary.

That's it! That's all it takes! I owe my new knowledge to the wonderful AAA guy, who did all of those steps for me (which meant my life was very easy.) I'm glad I learned how to do this on my own, I think it's a skill everyone should have just in case they get stranded somewhere.

4/27/11

Staring at armor

Tonight I decided to go to an SCA fighter practice. I'd been once before, only to observe. I realized then that the loud noises would probably be amplified in the helmets and that I would undoubtedly get a headache every other time I tried to go. Still, the desire to return kept nagging me. Finally I gave in a couple of hours ago.

On the ride there I became consumed with the fear that they would throw me into some smelly loner armor that made it impossible to breathe, move, or see... but they didn't. I walked into the gym of the military building that our barony uses during the winter months (yes I said winter, it's 44 here.) The lights, the smells, the sounds, all washed over me, bringing up memories of elementary school basketball games. In some spaces the scent changed and I was brutally reminded of army recruits.

I braced myself for a worse smell that I knew would come if they tossed loner armor at me. The three men ambling about the gym all waved politely. One asked if I was going to fight, I said yes, he said something along the lines of "great" while nodding his head in a style somewhat reminiscent of my uncle. The men went back to adjusting straps, hitting themselves to see if pieces moved, and adding bits here and there (sometimes with ducktape.) Two of them began to circle one another, the third, the fighter's marshal asked if I would like to do some slow work.

"Sure... I'm not entirely certain what that is, but I'll try."
"Well, do you wanna learn heavy fighting?"
"Yes?"
"That's a good start, we'll try slow work." Then he picked up a stick that looked small in his hands, and handed it to me. The rattan had weight to it, but was not as heavy as a normal wood, though I knew its weight would secretly wear at me until I couldn't lift it if we went too long. Then he handed me a shield. All told I probably held it up for five to ten minutes... He called it a light shield. My left arm begs to differ. It's not so much that my arms hurt or feel particularly tired, I just have absolutely no motivation to lift them for any less than necessary tasks.

He taught me some basic moves. It was slow going. I had never been allowed to put power behind my blows, and now I was being encouraged to do so. I found that I was more afraid to hit this ridiculously imposing figure before me, than I was of him hitting me. I knew he wouldn't break, I knew he was in armor, but I saw no need to hit him just so I could learn. He started holding up a sword wherever I was aiming. That helped, but then, when I needed to string blows together I waited for his sword to move. Add to this that I had to think about every swing. Did I move my hips correctly, did my feet pivot too much or too little? I over think things. It helped when I remembered how I had to move in Karate. My shots came in better once I let my body remember what it already knew. Hit from the ground up.

It was a great night. I was actually tired and able to sleep. It was wonderful. I think I'll try again.

4/6/11

Random

It would be so incredibly easy for me to be one of those maniacal super villains. I have all of the back-story needed to turn evil. And I mean one of those justified-everyone-would-understand-why-I-did-it villains. The sad thing is, I want to be that. Villains are more interesting. Heroes are whiny, they rely on their friends, and once all is said and done they get all the credit for none of the work and I hate them. Except when they're The Doctor. The Doctor is the only hero I've ever wanted to win. So yeah, I either want to be a villain, or The Doctor.
The End.

3/27/11

This is why I can't be a movie critic.

      Yesterday I watched Sucker Punch and liked it. Yes, that's right, I enjoyed watching scantily clad girls pwn everything from steam-punk Nazi zombies (yeah, you heard me), to dragons in the middle of an orc occupied palace, to samurai totting bazookas. Not to mention that the girls usually had some bizarre weapon of their own. If you want an example take a look at this. That's a gun wielding bunny suit. Yes, I know. I want one too.
     At this point you may be saying 'that's all well and good, but what about the plot?' Well, let me tell you friend, this movie had a plot. It may not have been good, I may not even be able to tell you coherently what that plot was, but it was there! Anyway, the whole movie was about the epic visuals and strange music that faded in and out in wonderful ways.
     At first blush the movie felt like a 'yay women!' kind of movie, because the girls were fighting valiantly for their freedom, but the feeling was swiftly punched away towards the end of the film. Still, I thoroughly enjoyed the film because a) it felt like watching someone play a really pretty rpg, b) the music was cool! and last but not least c) there were tons of explosions and there was this one shot of a dead baby dragon and the fire from the angry mother dragon enveloping everything and it gave me chills. WAIT I almost forgot! They were fighting said dragon with a B-52 bomber! Super awesome action flick, thy name is Sucker Punch.
    
     Now on to the indie film I watched a few moments ago. Troll Hunters. It's one of those fake documentaries affectionately termed "mockumentary." I hate shaky-cam, but it fit nicely here and the pay-off was well worth it. It was not of the annoying brand of films which never show us the creature it bills, fairly near the beginning there is an encounter in the woods where you actually see why everyone is running. (Take that Blair Witch Project... which I have not watched so I might be falsely accusing but I doubt it very seriously.... >_> )
     If you miss that feeling of magic in your life, go watch this film. It's like hearing your first fairy tale. The world seems fresh and alive again. It kind of kicks your sense of wonder (as in 'I wonder if that tree can talk') into high gear. In the first scene with a troll as every is running I started thinking that if I were there I would probably be laughing hysterically because it was so wonderful, but I'm odd. If you are curious but think I am probably a rambling lunatic check out the trailer... just in case I'm not crazy. As a warning, you have to read subtitles unless you speak Norwegian. Again, totally worth it.
     It is important to remember while watching this film that it's ok to laugh when the sheep die... you'll see what I mean.

     There you have it. Proof that I can never be a film critic. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to stick with philosophy.

3/13/11

Why yes, I am writing this because I have better things to do....

I am doomed. I have two papers to write in a time span that is impossibly small. Yes I planned poorly. Yes I will look tired and drawn in a matter of hours, no I don't care. I am concerned with other things. Why does life always seem to give me brilliant revelations when I have other things I have to get done (and in doing so makes me completely forget the revelation)?

When I was little younger I wanted to be an astronaut (until I discovered a healthy fear of dieing in a vacuum), a vet (until I realized I couldn't stand to watch animals die every day), a musician (until I went into a college department that hated what I loved), and finally a silversmith (still want it). Did anyone see philosophy on there? No. I do philosophy because I can't help it. It's what I think about all day, but it's not what I want to formally do out in front of everyone. I don't want to argue over things about which I am unsure. Don't even get me started on the people I would be arguing against. It all seems entirely fruitless. Today I may choose this stance, tomorrow it's wrong and I'm supposed to pretend I never said that... ummm... no. I refuse. I am now simply squandering my life away. Biding my time until... until... Oh yeah, there is no until. Great. This was the conclusion that hit me a few weeks ago.

Now I am changing my whole viewpoint. I want to create. It's what I've always wanted to do, what I'm obsessed with. I hate competition, and philosophy is competitive, so maybe this just isn't right for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm still going to study it, probably still going to be involved in it, but I don't want that as my life. For now I will bide my time in order to decide what my next move should be. Should I get formal training in music, metal work or nothing at all? I know that what I do in the next few years is going to do a lot to me later in life, I just hope I will have the courage to make good choices. I think I'll pretend I'm someone else planning a life for me. This should at the very least be an interesting experiment. Here goes.

3/6/11

Scrolls

I have been absent minded of late - thus I have not done well at keeping up this blog. I found that silversmithing kept my sanity quite nicely. The class is now over and I have created several pieces that I am quite proud of. I am on a quest to find all of the equipment I need to smith at home, and that is far easier said than done. I am determined however so pretty much no power on earth is going to stop me, even if the power trying if my faulty memory when I go to the store.

On another note, a friend in the SCA asked me to illuminate a scroll for her. I think it turned out rather well and so I took a picture and am linking it here. My boyfriend did the calligraphy, my SCA friend wrote the text, and I designed and illuminated it. I have found scroll design very relaxing, but I am obviously not very good at it yet. I do want to improve and appreciate comments, but my main focus right now is metal work.

Yes, metal work is my main focus. I think it may finally be that one thing I can be all consumingly passionate about. I have no idea how to bend my life around it, at this point I only know that I want to. I love everything about working metal, even the arduous filing process that is involved in almost any piece. I love watching bits of wire or shiny sheets transformed into gorgeous wearable art (actually pretty art, not the modern 'I'm trying to make a statement' art.)

So that's my life currently. Perhaps soon I'll have time to put up a quick tutorial of an interested knitted wire technique I'm learning. So long for now.

1/11/11

Local finds and fun times

     Today has been a productive and fun day. I had an audition for a choral position at a church and it went rather well I think. I would be terribly excited to get the job simply because I miss being in a choir and they sing lots of early music. Yay Latin!
     After  my audition I walked two blocks down from the church to a small coffee shop. I think I shall start mentioning local finds here in Lincoln, and this cafe will be the first. It is called Mo Java Cafe. If you are in Lincoln and haven't been there, I suggest you go. Take 48th to St. Paul st. and turn east (away from Wesleyan University). There is even off the street parking right next to it. The atmosphere in the shop is lovely. The people are friendly and the coffee is divine. I got their German Chocolate drink - Mocha with coconut and hazelnut added. It tasted so much like a German chocolate cake I was afraid I would inhale coconut shavings. I sat in a really neat comfy chair by the window, stared at their books and games and was more relaxed than I have been in a long time. They also sell teas, deli foods and deserts, and work by local artists. Today I saw some nice jewelry, beautiful ceramic mugs and plants potted in Japanese tea pots. I think I will be returning to that place quite frequently.
     For my evening activity I will be going to a silversmithing class. This should fun... or painful if I do something stupid and burn myself. I'll let you know how it goes.